thankful.

this morning i woke up nice and early, had a tasty cup of tea and thought 'i'm going to go for a walk while the sun is kind of shining.'

suited up with my gloves, hat and tunes i headed out the door on a mission.

halfway around the block i knew i was in trouble. i started stumbling like a drunk, my legs were seizing up. the pain began and it was excruciating. with tears in my eyes, i turned around and very slowly started back home. i know i was weaving all over the road, dragging my left foot because it felt like it was cased in cement. i hadn't gone very far but i swear it was like a marathon from hell, every step i took my front door moved farther and farther away.
i was crying now, frustrated and discouraged that at 32 i couldn't even make it around the block.
i could see my house, down that hill, i was praying hard that wouldn't fall on my face. it was just a little bit more to go, keep moving. left foot forward, right foot forward. in between sobbing and reminding my self to breathe, i started humming chariots of fire. (cue canned laughter)

i made it home. fell in the front door and laid there screaming and crying. as the pain started to lessen i began to feel thankful. thankful that i could walk half way around the block, it wasn't far, but i did it. thankful for the ability to walk, for my defunct arms and legs that have a mind of their own. thankful that i'm thankful, that my heart hasn't become hardened by this world or by the life i've been given.

i picked myself up off the floor and went to hug a bunny.

then i found this gem:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwzjlmBLfrQ