setback.

this would have been week three of going to the gym. my first session was so much harder than i thought. every part of my body was screaming for me to stop, my brain was exhausted from trying to coordinate my limbs and force myself to keep moving. it was awful but wonderful at the same time because i did it. i didn't give up, i didn't say i can't, i survived.

this past monday i had an accident at the gym, i fell or rather rolled off the end of a treadmill. i didn't fall, but as i rolled off i instinctively put my arms out to catch myself. something in my left shoulder or arm popped, the pain was unbelievable. i was crying, half from the pain and half from the shame. really, who falls off a treadmill walking? i knew i was hurt, i thought i had dislocated my shoulder.

the ER doctor i saw thought i had fractured my humerus or something in my shoulder, but the xray showed no breaks and it wasn't dislocated. it appears as though i have a tear in my rotator cuff. it's going to be a long and slow recovery and i have to take a break from the gym. sadly it's my left arm, my dominant side, so there are very few things i can do.

i may just be the most awkward person in the world. i'm thinking of making a t-shirt with this printed on it.